Tales of an American Insomniac

Wow I’m fucking terrible at this whole posting thing.

I think the plan was posting as soon as I hit that coffee shop buuuut I got… distracted. So many god damn asians in vancouver. Of course I’d manage to somehow find the only two half asians in the entire fucking city.

I am full blooded chinese. My mother was chinese. My father was chinese. My mother’s father and father’s mother was chinese. My father’s mother’s father was chinese. Or Atilla the Hun.

Funny how everyone’s related to that playah.

Yet somehow I have a severe disability to date - yes that is the word we are using as ‘fuck’ lacks… class - asians. I have been with 11 half asians after that last night.

But.

No.

Fucking.

ASIANS.

I put my famiry to shame.

Also lots of other Vancouver-based distractions kept me away for so long. Namely meeting myself. But with tits. More on that later.

Well we finally whipped out the brandy so ciao.

So good to be back in the ATL.

God Damn.

Sadly this blog ended up much like most of my projects - falling to the wayside.

Oh well, might as well pick it up again. 

But I’m on vacation right now and don’t feel like doing much of anything intensive soooooo I’ma just write about random shit. 

Yep. In Vancouver. It’s pretty amazing. Probably helps that I’m staying alone in a fancy condo for the next two days but still. Pretty awesome city. Gorgeous area, gorgeous high-rise condo, gorgeous people.

Speaking of which - Asians.

So.

Many.

ASIANS.

This city is filled to the fucking brim with them. Went to a really nice ramen place for dinner last night and MY GOD was it delicious. Cost me like 15 Washingtons(He’s on the dollar bill right?) but still completely worth it. Waitress was cute too. Left with her number but I doubt I’ll be calling :P I really need to stop doing that rofl. 

I’m such a terrible human being D:

Other news… Cigarettes are expensive as FUCK up here. I mean I brought like 3 packs of Parlies with me but after spending all of last night out on the town I’ve got like 1 left D: 14 Bucks for a pack of Reds? Fucking MARLBORO REDS? That’s not expensive. It’s downright bloody extortion.

This city is going to bleed me fucking dry D:

Still a pretty awesome city though.

Update after I get some coffee. At least that’s cheap here lol.

I don’t even know where that quote’s from.

Hey there. So some guy who lives across the hall from me introduced me to this tumblr thing. Cool guy. Nice hair. Smokes 27s. Anyway it looked interesting.

…

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now…

I guess I need to figure out what it is I should do… tumblr stuff on.

Time for a list:

• Talk about myself

      Well that seems narcissistic and kinda boring. I mean I am a narcissist but if there’s anything I hate it’s boredom.

• Guy stuff

      That… seems even more boring. I’m not even sure what that entails… Sports and beer n stuff? Time for a sub-list.

        - Sports

           Meh. I like playing them but care little for watching sports. Besides I know nothing about them. ‘Cept boxing. Maybe knock out vids or something.

        - Beer n preztels

          I do like beer. Living in england pretty much guaranteed that I would though. Don’t really care for pretzels though. No idea why those two are always grouped together. I think a friend of mine’s parents own a brewery or somin. I’ll prolly make a page on beer or something.

       - Video games

          I kinda stopped playing videogames when I changed my major from computer science. The only one I do play is LoL and me talking about that stuff would be way more boring. Besides there’s prolly like a million tumblrs about that. Next.
       - Smoking

          I am what we scientists call a nicotine addict. Still, I mostly smoke parliaments so that seems pretty unexciting… Mebbe I’ll try a dif pack every week or something. Meh. Time will tell.

       - Women n stuff

          Lolwut? I’m not a creepy pickup artist or something and - as terrible as this is - I don’t honestly care enough about anyone I’m dating to post about them. Seems about as narcissistic and boring as that first one.

       - Sexin

          Twololol. What am I going to be talking about? My fav position? Best fuck? Sounds like a terrible fucking idea. Next.

That’s it for guy stuff. Next up is…

• Women stuff

Surprise right? Yeah I’m bi-sexual so I actually do care about this stuff. All you haters can hate, I get to fish in the ocean while you’re stuck in a pond :D Sub-list!

       - Fashion

          Mebbes. I worked in apparel for a spell and I do care about how I look, although never enough to subscribe to cosmo. Plus I am asian. Possible.

       - Cooking

          Hell yes. I love cooking. I mean L-O-V-E in big red letters with a heart O and a winking V or something. I’ll def be making some kinda food page.

       - Martinis

          Oh god. I don’t give a flying fuck how gay you think I am for it. I. Love. Cocktails. Give me a dry martini or - god forbid - a tokyo tea and my cheeks will break the fucking walls. God bless Midtown. This is a for-sure.

       - Men n stuff

          Meh, same thing as women n stuff. Next.

       - Other kinda sexin

          This again? See above ^^

Aight that’s all I could think of on women stuff. Next.

• Movies

      Man, I was the worst semester long film major ever. I don’t know a lot about movies nor have I seen like any at all. Unless Natalie Portman’s in it of course. Black Swan was amazing.

• Music

      Ha. Just ‘cus I dated a few hipsters doesn’t mean I know shit about music. Like at all. Name a band.

Never heard of them. Next.

• Raving

      As much as I love raving every weekend I don’t really know what there is to talk about on the subject. I’d post pics if I ever brought a camera with me. Which I didn’t.

How am I supposed to dance like an epileptic robot with a camera? Next.

• Clubbing

      A bit more feasible. I can always have someone bring a camera or something when we go clubbing.

• Drugs

      I plead the fifth.

• Insomnia

      This is honestly why I started this whole tumblr thing. Still, nothing for me to really talk about on the subject.

• Random arse shit

That seems like a given. Not much else to do at 3 in the morning.

Aight, that’s all I can think of. I’ma go make a sandwich.